How Maths with Me Sets Teens Free
A coach of mine said to me recently, ‘well, how someone does Maths is how they do life, right…?’
It was a way of him confirming what he thought I already knew.
But I’d actually never thought about it exactly like that. It was a real gift for me to hear it put this way.
I had known it and taught this for decades in a general sense but never thought about it so cleanly, so clearly and so pithily.
But it’s really true!
The real juice for me in teaching teenagers Maths - which I’ve done now for 25+ years - is in the way it brings up such profound life topics, it provides such an easy, lively and natural forum for broader life discussion and enjoyment.
This has been my home for decades now and I am so familiar with what the real lessons are in teaching Maths and how to give them to anyone in my orbit.
In many ways it’s become my favourite way to ‘coach’ a young adult, to have Maths as the vehicle for engagement, as our more concrete and practical purpose in being together so that we can then also entertain the abstract, the existential, the unmeasurable, the most important aspects of life really that as teachers and parents mostly don’t get to.
Things like purpose! What’s the point?! Why are we doing this s*** (‘sir’)?! What’s the point of school, of learning, of Maths, of quadratics…? Why do I have to learn this…? When am I ever going to use this…? Etc etc etc
These are the RIGHT questions to ask!
Students in my world are all aligned with their learning, that’s what I do, and if they’re not we address it.
It’s my favourite discussion with anyone of any age, my genius zone: purpose.
I’ve spent my whole adult life looking for it, honing in on it and I have by now a wealth of knowledge and insight on the subject - if I may be so bold as to put it like that. It feels like it’s all I’ve thought about for my entire adult life, writing songs about it in my 20s, teaching and reflecting on it in my 30s and now coaching it in my 40s.
I have my extensive set of questions and answers that really help to satisfy and align teenagers with their studies and their purpose in life.
I don’t know where else they get anything like this kind of ‘education’ or support from, sometimes it feels like it’s just me out here doing things the way I’ve learned to do it.
I’m sure that’s not the case, by the way, but I’d love to meet the others who have dedicated as much time, energy and passion to this as I have!
I think if we can’t be brave as adults and open up a safe space to receive these fundamental, entirely natural and yet immensely challenging questions from our teens, we undermine motivation, we undermine connection, trust and belonging between teacher/student and parent/child and we undermine their sense of purpose in this life.
If we can’t help them find their own meaning in studying how are they supposed to really get behind it?
Do we just expect them to go through the motions because we say so?!!
Or because apparently they have no future if they don’t? This is bullshit! And everyone should disassociate themselves from this tired and terrorising narrative that we systematically inflict on our youth.
In any case they’re not listening many of them, they know it’s completely bogus but this leaves them worryingly isolated in their thinking.
It is surely any teacher’s highest calling to communicate to their students in any way they can the profound purpose of what they are studying and why they are studying it.
Personally, I absolutely love the students who challenge, who ask, who want to know why and who feel safe enough in our coaching sessions - or in my morning classes at Cardiff Montessori School - to get into it with me!
Bring it on! Nothing lights me up more!!
For me the subject and schooling in general is inviting all these insights, all these mindset breakthroughs that can lead them to a life of greater application, work ethic, engagement, meaning, purpose and reward in the process.
I’ve long seen that I can empower a student’s whole relationship with learning (and with school) through the portal of just this one subject.
But it’s more than that, it really is about enlivening life mastery, way beyond just academics.
I am again and again struck by the simple yet profound lifestyle insights I can now impart to any student I work with who I see needs them to help them get to the next level, to not be held back in any way.
A while ago, maybe 5 years ago, I wrote down a collection of these insights for a PDF called, ‘12 Effortless GCSE Maths Hacks - Eradicate ‘Silly Mistakes’ and jump a grade (without any extra effort)’. It’s a colourful, single page document listing some of my top tips, each elaborated on with a line or two of text.
But I could speak about each one for hours - no kidding! - to expand and deepen the understanding, recognition and importance of them, for Maths and for life.
(Let me know if want that PDF and I’ll be happy to send it to you)
For example, many students I meet desperately need to be taught, in my opinion, that they can simply learn to calm themselves down when they are doing Maths and to practise doing this regularly with all the Maths they face day to day. Whether they know how to do a given question or topic - and get excited, start racing and making mistakes and getting lost that way! - or if they think they really don’t know how to do it and get panicked or disillusioned and start to feel despondent and give up, either way: Rest is Best *.
Such a great metaphor for anything in life, right?
It’s an essential life skill to know how to settle down, settle our minds and hearts, in either state, high excitement and confidence or the opposite, fear and paranoia, just to be able to focus and work effectively.
Who wants to live with constant car wrecks, insecurity, doubt, defeatism, fear…? This is what we face conceptually in Maths, the same thing, a lifestyle choice, how do we want to live? Slapdash and all over the place? Shut off and resigned to defeat? Or can we find a way to relax, open up our minds and hearts and see what’s possible, see what we’re really capable of? (And thereby find some precious life meaning and purpose)
That’s the juice, that’s the gold… the learning, the growing, the confidence, the sense of achievement, the overcoming, the resilience.
Then you realise that when you face a seemingly insurmountable obstacle, that you can just walk straight through it! See you on the other side! I know I can do it. It’s going to take time maybe but I’m doing it.
That’s what I’m teaching in Maths!
For my students studying Maths with me I feel like I am bestowing on them a simple yet profound blessing when I stop the technical aspect of any lesson to teach them how to relax, to take their time, to regain composure, to reset, to re-read the question, to breath and to believe, to keep the mind open and to have a mindset of ‘can do’ rather than can’t do.
As another great coach in my life has taught me (I am blessed to be supported by so many amazing coaches and teachers currently):
Whether we say to ourselves we can do it or we can’t do it, either way we are absolutely right!
I don’t know how much emphasis other Maths teachers place on emotional state, mindset and other things like relationship, psychological safety, clarity of purpose…? But to me, having taught for so long, all of these are absolutely primary, before we even get into any of the nuts and bolts of the subject itself.
I’ve got a feeling most of this aspect of learning in schools is completely unnoticed or overlooked or just impossible to get to in most of our educational establishments where it’s still quite factory-like, impersonal, controlled and mechanical.
If you don’t have a good relationship with your students or children they’re not going to listen to what you have to say anyway, so that’s the first step.
The 7 Young Fire Academy Core Values - for the engagement of any student, parent or colleague in our company:
Love
Trust
Openness
Honesty
Respect
Fun
Commitment
That will give any of us a better platform to impart our wisdom from and actually be listened to.
Anyway, I hope that helps?
Always interested to hear your thoughts and opinions in response to what I’ve written?
Sending love and luck to you all meantime,
Henry
* If that phrase in the middle of this article - ‘Rest is Best’ - hits your mind and heart like a tonne of snuggly, fluffy, weightless and immensely soothing bricks (!) you might want to consider spontaneously ordering this book that has just come out, with the same title. The author and I have had a close, personal relationship for over 15 years and she has had the greatest impact on me of any teacher I have ever had.
If you’re not already a member of our awesome Young Fire Academy Parent Community Group on Facebook, come join us! Get support from me and other like-minded parents who are on this journey too.
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Henry Dingle
Henry Dingle is the founder of Young Fire Academy and an expert teen and parent coach, as well as a specialist tutor. He helps exasperated parents and their demotivated teens reconnect and thrive by fostering authentic relationships, trust, and accountability. With over 20 years of experience working with teens, Henry’s approach ignites motivation, leading to greater self-confidence and real-life satisfaction.
He empowers students to take charge of their learning through mindset coaching, effective essay-writing techniques and Maths helping them build confidence and enjoy their academic journey. As a parent coach, Henry supports families in restoring trust, improving communication, and creating a more harmonious home environment.
