How Teens Can Learn to Love Maths

What many of us parents crave to see in our children—when they are teenagers, and even younger—is self-direction.

When will they start to do their schoolwork themselves? To self-lead, to take the initiative?

When will we parents be relieved of the crushing responsibility to somehow get them to step up and do their own work? To start to care and be self-motivated? Will this ever happen, in fact, for our child (we worry)…?

The Window of Opportunity

The time for any student to learn to self-direct is in the GCSE years. They don’t really need to do it beforehand, although of course it’s great if they do 😊

If they don’t learn it in Years 9–11, then school can start to become a real ordeal for everyone in the family, with big potential knock-on effects for the rest of their academic careers—and for life.

‘Directed study’—done for someone else, on their terms and to their beat—is empty of real meaning or profound purpose, and it is extremely hard work.

For the parent and teen involved, it is like we are Sisyphus from the famous Greek myth, trying to push a massive boulder up an endless slope only for it to roll back down to the bottom again and again.

Eventually there just is no juice, and once we get too close to the exams, no point really. The student and parent are completely overwhelmed and without the skills or confidence to rectify the situation.

This is the saddest way for everyone in the family to go through this period—which can in fact be so enlivening and empowering, so much the making of a student and the maturing of a promising young adult.

The Power of Self-Direction

If they do learn to self-direct, to take responsibility and to go for it on their own terms and with drive and ambition, then… the world is their oyster. Learning comes to life (literally), potential starts to be genuinely fulfilled—and in the most satisfying and profound way, the wind is forever in their sails.

I think this is the most magnificent result anyone can achieve as a teacher: the gift of self-direction in your students, sparking intrinsic motivation and an irrevocable taste for self-discipline and work—as opposed to (mere) compliance or plain avoidance.

I tutored for well over a decade in my musician days in London, and I know what it’s like to do an hour or two a week, sometimes for years on end, with the same student and—perhaps after much initial fun and excitement about progress and potential—to see little real ultimate gain in the end. Maybe some small performance or grade improvement, but precious little extra pep in the performer and next to no profound personal growth, increased agency or greater maturity in the process.

After a while I couldn’t bear it and had to reset my sights.

Why Tutoring Isn’t Always the Answer

Once I quit songwriting to focus fully on education, I had to review my targets, my standards—my ethics even!—and upgrade my expectations for the results of the work I was giving myself to.

I couldn’t hide from the fact that some of my students had become less independently motivated after a long period of tutoring than they might have been without it.

Better, I thought, for parents sometimes not to get a tutor and instead have their child face the exam preparation process fully by themselves—without the comfort, provision or harbour a tutor can provide.That comfort can make them feel like they’re showing up, making progress and doing enough. Maybe then the student would step up way more and own it for themselves, knowing that it is totally down to them?

A risk for a parent, I admit—but I hope you’ll agree, a fair consideration? Which is actually better for the student—as a candidate and as a person—in the long run?

Too many times I felt I had made students feel great with me, and with their Maths, only to see that this meant they did little more than show up for our weekly sessions, for an hour a week, make excuses about their lack of progress in between, and presume that that would be enough. Why wouldn’t they? They’ve “got a tutor”.

In a way it became, in their minds, just as much my responsibility as theirs, that they do well in their Maths exam. This is crazy!

After all, I was very experienced, a very good teacher, being paid well and constantly showing them their worth in the subject in our sessions—helping them conquer individual topics and encouraging them always to nurture their natural potential in the subject.

Mindset, Motivation and Mastery

What I know now is that until a student takes full responsibility for their own learning, no real learning or growth are really taking place. Tutoring just becomes another hour added into the week—just another part of a system that is grinding away to try and get “results”.

Developing a strong maths mindset is essential for students to build confidence and tackle complex topics with clarity.

It becomes, for the student, a distant project belonging mostly to their teachers, tutors, and even parents. Something they get away from as soon as they can, do reluctantly, and always the bare minimum (almost as a point of peer-inspired pride and principle).

What a student needs to really nail (and by the way, love) their GCSE Maths journey is the mindset of collecting together, over Years 9–11, the areas where they are weak—finding all their own gaps, all the holes they see and know they have—and one by one filling them in until they, the student, are satisfied that they will for sure get it right if it comes up in the exam.

No army of tutors or teachers (or parents!) can replace that.

A traditional maths tutor may help fill content gaps, but self-direction is what builds lasting mastery and independence.

And Maths is a HUGE subject, with many topics and many potential holes. A good grade does not fall into anyone’s lap without putting the time and the work in in this way.

Why I Do Things Differently Now

That is why I put all the emphasis of my Maths coaching work now on self-direction.

I run self-directing communities of teens, working in small groups, after school—some at Foundation level working for a pass and some at Higher Tier going for anything from a 6 to a 9.

Our community approach works well for those seeking an online maths tutor experience that promotes independence and real engagement.

And the onus, from the beginning, in my community is on the student.

They get all the love, connection, fun, respect and support they could dream of from attending these calls, but the offer rests on them learning to develop themselves in the subject between the weekly group coaching sessions, with all resources provided by me. They use the calls and the student WhatsApp group to identify and resolve their own limitations—both in the subject and in their general school- and subject-related mindset, attitudes, habits and relationship.

In the weekly coaching sessions we build a community of complete openness, willingness, enjoyment and focus. We build accountability also, to do what we said we were going to do that week—not a bad life skill? They master one topic at a time by creating an organic and responsive self-direction programme, tailored to their own needs and profile, and we celebrate our individual and collective wins and progress as we go.

Let’s face it—school can be utterly meaningless for this generation without someone who has the ability, intelligence and character to communicate the point of it all to the students when they most need to know.

This Is the Point of GCSEs

The point of GCSEs is this: to do it by yourself, to take it on for yourself, to clear away all the hiding places, insecurities, avoidances, excuses and phoney principled rebellions (which will only lead to a form of dramatic or dull personal ruin), and instead enliven real student ownership, dignity and responsibility.

Much like life coaching for teenagers, our maths mentorship empowers teens to take charge of their growth and choices.

Not to make them feel better by seeming to do all the work for them—as a tutor, for example—but by inviting them to do it for themselves.

Small wins initially, for each student, feeding an appetite for learning that is really the only good way to navigate this far from perfect education system.

When I meet the right students we naturally place relationship above all else. We are for real with each other—no bullshitting or game-playing. We explore all that might be holding them back, and in a group setting where they each benefit so much from listening to each other and hearing my responses. And then we do the work, in the most easy-going and meaningful way possible—some of it together, most of it in their own time.

Next year I’m going to have four classes for my after-school Maths Mentorship programmes. I don’t like to work with more than six students in each class because I don’t want anyone to slip through the net or not get my full focus and attention.

And if they are open and willing in our first meeting—they have to be to be accepted into this incredible community—then results are guaranteed: great grades and immensely precious personal growth through discovering self-direction.

If you’d like to find out more about our communities and programmes, for you and your Y9–11 child, my calendar’s open and our ‘gates’ are open for our annual intake in the first two weeks of August: Click here to book a 15 minute appointment

We have 24 Maths places—and once they’re gone, they are gone (until I find and train up another coach to do what I have learned to do).
Happy holidays meantime everyone!

Love,
Henry

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Henry Dingle

Henry Dingle is the founder of Young Fire Academy and an expert teen and parent coach, as well as a specialist tutor. He helps exasperated parents and their demotivated teens reconnect and thrive by fostering authentic relationships, trust, and accountability. With over 20 years of experience working with teens, Henry’s approach ignites motivation, leading to greater self-confidence and real-life satisfaction.
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He empowers students to take charge of their learning through mindset coaching, effective essay-writing techniques, and Maths, helping them build confidence and enjoy their academic journey. As a parent coach, Henry supports families in restoring trust, improving communication, and creating a more harmonious home environment.