School Engagement and Future Employability

School Engagement and Future Employability

You may relate to, or be anticipating, these potential perils facing parents of teens in the GCSE years:

• A child who at crunch point is not at all motivated to study

• Not being able to get across to them how important it might be that they do

• Witnessing them thinking they have all the time in the world when they don’t

• Them avoiding risking effort by saying that they don’t see the point of studying

• Them genuinely not seeing the point of studying – fair enough until it’s been properly explained to them, I say

• Punishments only serving to provoke even more rebellion and resistance

• Rewards ultimately undermining their intrinsic motivation

• Pushing them, to try to help them, and them doing even less as a result

• Years of escalating tension, corridor spats and outright fights due to the pressure

• Tutors they resist and who serve only to lessen their independent learning

• Huge parental effort ultimately proving to be self-defeating

• Lack of trust proving to be self-fulfilling 

Truly the pitfalls are very many in this merry dance with our GCSE-driven education system!

By trying to fulfil a pretty basic parental obligation – ie having them be successful at school if at all possible –  we ourselves can end up being the destroyers of our children’s love of learning, pushing our relationships with them close to ruin in the process, causing everyone involved to suffer the worst few years of family life to date and all this only to end up with worse grades than we may have done if we had just stepped back, left them to it completely and done absolutely nothing!

So is that the right course of action for those of us yet to face this mountainous hurdle between our child and their apparent future success?

Is this the most responsible thing to do? 

Well, in a word yes.  Far better this than the route of full-time parental micro-management, obsessive control and a reliance on reward and punishment as our only motivating currency.

But it’s a very good question…  And it cuts to the heart of what I do as a teen and parent coach.

In my work I have come to facilitate this delicate transition for parents and teens. From dependency and direction to independence and self-direction.

I take parents from (helplessly attempting to) manage and control their child (into working and getting the results) to stepping back, trusting and leaving them to it.

Simultaneously I work with the teens, using Maths, essay-writing technique and mindset training to step up and self-direct, in school and out of school.

I am a coach, I don’t direct or come with a pre-existing agenda, I ask questions to steer students towards clarifying what it is they truly want for themselves and then going for it.

And guess what, most of them do actually want to do well, they just don’t know how.

They lack the confidence, they are scared, they are muddied in their thinking, they are suspicious (of us!) and rightly so in my opinion…

I forge a special kind of relationship with them to help them ultimately align with their own lives and lifestyle choices, including finding enjoyment in school.  After all, no one I’ve asked actually wants to leave and so since they’re stuck with this one option we may as well find all the ways we can to make the most of it.  

That’s a good summary of the programme I have designed and now run for teenagers: finding all the ways we can to make the most out of school, to use it as a vehicle, as an opportunity, not to fight against it, since we are stuck with it, and to do so is a form of slow self-destruction. 

It’s no fun also when you don’t or can’t find a way to rise to the challenge of school, to take the opportunity, in this critical and formative stage in life, to grow out of our limiting beliefs and old identities, to call ourselves out of our hiding places and the self-destructive tendencies that we can all incline towards in adolescence (and beyond).

And if we want to support our teens more effectively, we need to focus on their overall student motivation and academic mindset, rather than micromanaging their homework.

Helping teens with study skills, goal setting, and developing a growth mindset allows them to take more ownership of their learning journey.

And instead to find a lifestyle and belief system that serves us and others, that helps us win, to grow (and grow up) and to feel good, to find greater purpose and meaning and recognise and realise our own independent agencies, beyond the adult world’s pushy agendas and over-zealous directing of us.  

I remember it well!  One of the reasons why I do what I do now I’m sure, just listening to teenagers and giving them a safe space to talk and think through their ideas without being corrected, shut down or over-ruled.

When teens are engaged at school, they are more likely to feel capable and hopeful about their future careers. This kind of school engagement helps build skills like communication, critical thinking, and teamwork — all essential for future employability.

And I feel like this work is also helping to produce graduates that the world actually needs, the world of employment and the world itself, with all its seemingly unsolvable problems and crises on all fronts.

ChatGPT says:

Future employers will be looking for graduates who offer far more than just academic qualifications. As automation, AI, and globalisation reshape the workplace, employers are increasingly prioritising human skills, adaptability, and character over rote knowledge.

That’s why it’s crucial we prepare teens not just for tests, but for career readiness — for life beyond exams.

The employment landscape is changing far quicker than schools or other institutions can possibly keep up with.  So it’s going to be more and more up to us parents to go with the strengths of our convictions and give our children what we really think they’ll need to prepare them for this future, above and beyond what is provided by schools, expected in mainstream society and what has long been traditional in our respective cultures.

Ask yourselves, what could that be?

And if you have some ideas please let me know.

You can even book a free 15-minute call to talk with me about it!  I’d be fascinated to hear your ideas and share some of my own: Click here to book a call

If you’re not already a member of our awesome Young Fire Academy Parent Community Group on Facebook, come join us! Get support from me and other like-minded parents who are on this journey too.
Click here to join:  https://www.facebook.com/groups/youngfireparents/

Henry Dingle

Henry Dingle is the founder of Young Fire Academy and an expert teen and parent coach, as well as a specialist tutor. He helps exasperated parents and their demotivated teens reconnect and thrive by fostering authentic relationships, trust, and accountability. With over 20 years of experience working with teens, Henry’s approach ignites motivation, leading to greater self-confidence and real-life satisfaction. . He empowers students to take charge of their learning through mindset coaching, effective essay-writing techniques, and Maths, helping them build confidence and enjoy their academic journey. As a parent coach, Henry supports families in restoring trust, improving communication, and creating a more harmonious home environment.