The Atmosphere that Works Wonders with Teens

Why is the coaching work I do so effective in empowering teenagers to work harder, feel happier and generally be nicer?!

What am I doing exactly in my sessions that is so different to any other tutor or teacher or parent, for that matter?

How is it that clients say things like: ‘my son has… returned to us. It’s such a relief.’

Or they say they can see their child visibly walking taller after each session they have with me.

Or the teens write to me years after I’ve worked with them to say that through coaching them in Maths, I changed their whole approach to academics and now they’re applying to Cambridge, something that they say would have been inconceivable prior to our starting working together…?

Part of me struggles to believe that the utterly simple, natural and I must say entirely enjoyable practice I have developed as a Teen Coach can possibly be as impactful and also as rare as it seems to be.

On the flip side, deep down, I really do know why.

I know vividly what I’ve brought to my teaching and practice over these past 25 years of complete dedication to working with young people. I know the challenges I’ve faced personally and professionally that have shaped me, the tough and in many cases radical decisions I’ve made for my business and family and the countless obstacles I’ve had to overcome to be in this position now. I can see why many others in the profession of teaching, tutoring and coaching would NOT have been tempted to follow me, all or any of the way, down this particular path.

I’m grateful to have had phenomenal support from many mentors, one in particular, and also to have learned so much from all of the parents and teens I’ve worked with who have shown me the way and helped me discover through experience what works and what doesn’t work.

I’m extremely proud of having stuck to my guns in this field for so long now, never giving up on the power of my insights and never losing the strength of my convictions.

There are so many aspects to my coaching now that I could share about, but I wanted to write about just one today.

And that's the atmosphere; the atmosphere I provide and create in all my sessions.

Most teens I meet are in a state of constant flow, unrelenting restlessness and superficial flightiness.

They are living in an intensely private world, barriers up, heads down, even if they are at the same time smiling and cooperating and saying all the right things. Some do, some don’t. Some glower at me initially and the outside world in general. Either way, whatever their display, style and disposition, they have retreated into some kind of shell and it’s my job to reach them and coax them out.

It’s partly their age and stage, the natural intensity of this phase in their development, partly the speed of life these days with technology ramping up everyone’s nervous systems to the max and it’s partly that the adult world around them doesn’t know how best to be with them, to put it bluntly.

When I meet with them, whether it’s for the first time or in any one of the many weekly sessions we might have together, one priority I always have, and one I am well trained in, is just to provide an atmosphere, through a way of relating, where they can simply settle down and be at ease - most likely more than at any other time in their week.

Through this atmosphere, which has to be utterly authentic and embodied by the coach, it cannot be contrived, I help the young people I spend time with to calm down, to slowly drop their guards, to know fundamentally that all is well, to feel, bodily and intellectually, that they are ‘safe’ (socially) and to get to know this part of themselves that is still and at peace.

This is the absolute bedrock of my coaching practice, the basis of all my work that opens teens up to get to know themselves more deeply, to realise their true potential in each moment, academically and otherwise, and to go out into the world with ever-greater confidence, clarity and purpose, in school and out of school.

One of my clients expressed it to me like this, this week:

“He obviously loves your coaching relationship 💕. He told me last night that he enjoys talking to you and that what you talk about is “nun-ya” which means “none of your business “. 🤣. Great to see him owning his relationship with you as something entirely for him ☺️. I think it’s working so well, I can literally see him growing into himself, advocating more and taking more ownership of his preferences and needs which is so important as he comes into the teen years”

Such a glorious process, so simple and yet so profound.

Sending love and well wishes to you and your kids,

Henry

P.S. Now’s a good time seasonally to book in for a 15-min chat with me if you’re considering coaching for your teen. I’m fully booked after school these days for UK students but I have a few weekday afternoon slots opening up next month once exam season is over. If you’re quick you could reserve one now for the rest of this term and next term, or we will need to wait til Jan 2027. You can book in now using this link: https://calendly.com/henrydingle/15-min-parent-consultation

If you’re not already a member of our awesome Young Fire Academy Parent Community Group on Facebook, come join us! Get support from me and other like-minded parents who are on this journey too.
Click here to join: https://www.facebook.com/groups/youngfireparents/

And to find out more about our programmes and offerings, please visit our website at www.youngfireacademy.com

Henry Dingle

Henry Dingle is the founder of Young Fire Academy and an expert teen and parent coach, as well as a specialist tutor. He helps exasperated parents and their demotivated teens reconnect and thrive by fostering authentic relationships, trust, and accountability. With over 25 years of experience working with teens, Henry’s approach ignites motivation, leading to greater self-confidence and real-life satisfaction.

He empowers students to take charge of their learning through mindset coaching, effective essay-writing techniques and Maths helping them build confidence and enjoy their academic journey. As a parent coach, Henry supports families in restoring trust, improving communication, and creating a more harmonious home environment.